In reading an article from the August 1999 CWTI magazine, that was an excerpt of the diary of Anne S Frobel.  She gives an example of how little they had.

The winter of 63-64 was a terrible winter on us. And although we were some what exempt from the annoyance of soldiers, we were shut up here, almost as bad as if we were in the penitentiary. Charles [a slave] was gone and we had no one to do for us, or get for us what we needed. O it was a dreary, dreary trying winter to our whole household -not enough to eat, and scarcely enough fire to keep us from perishing with the cold. I don’t know how or where we got the little wood we did have. The orders were so stringent in regard to picketing the roads that no market carts or wood carts passed here. Sometimes, as I had nothing else to employ or interest me, I could indulge in day dreams, sitting by the Window looking out-suppose,

O suppose, I should see a wagon drive up to the kitchen door, filled—loaded with all sorts of good things, so much of this and so much of that, and the other, things that I imagined would taste so delightfully. Suppose some person that could afford to do it were to find out in some unaccountable manner how destitute and hungry we were, and were to send us a wagonload. But O, I could eat up a wagon load in a little less than no time—almost at a mouth full—suppose they were to send two.

One day while I was indulging in these imaginary feastings Mr. A.J. [a local friend of the sisters] and his mother drove up and O, after being debared the sight of the human face so long, I could not express the delight with which we welcomed once more the sight of the human face divine. And then when they got out of the carriage and brought in ever so many nice things. O I never, never can forget it. One thing was a great bushel basket of delicious fresh crackers, of all kinds just hot from the bakery, and how we did enjoy them. These good friends just brought us all these nice things in the kindness of their hearts, as they were coming they thought they must bring us some thing. But they had no idea how low our larder was or how very hungry we were, and what - a blessing they were bringing to us. After that they came to see us a number of times, and never empty-handed. Sometimes a great can of oysters, packages of sugar, fruit, oranges, cake—I know it would have made their hearts glad had they known how much we enjoyed and appreciated their many kindnesses, but they never knew how desperate our needs were.

.....

One day in the early spring, when vegetation was somewhat advanced, the birds were singing and flowers and trees beginning to bloom. Lizzie and I were up stairs reading or writing, or doing something else, and old mammy was knocking about in the kitchen, getting dinner such as it was. We could hear her come in, and set the table and bring it in, and then come to the stairs and call us to come down, “dinner was ready.” But we knew what dinner was, and were in no hurry for it. Then she came and called again. She called several times before she moved us, then she seemed to get very impatient and called loudly, “You better come along down stairs, and eat dis here little mout full of vittles before some body come along and eat it all up from you.” Then we flew—she was standing at the door looking very smiling when we got there, and when we opened the door, there was some thing very out of the common, the [tureen] on the table, and when we lifted the cover O joy of joys, it was filled with the most delightful - delicious asparagus soup.

To my dying day I never can forget the taste of the delightful soup, and it came so unexpectedly too. We did not know there was a stalk on the p1ace, and never thought of it making its appearance as yet. But she had been around and scratched it out of the places where the fences and bridges had been, and possessed herself of a little piece of meat, the dear knows how or where. But she is very much delighted every now and then to give us these little surprises. Some times it is a bowl of hot hominy and cream for supper—fruit or anything she can lay her hands upon and if she cooks for the soldiers she is certain to scrimp off a little for us, if it is nothing but baked pork and beans.

.......

Old mammie was always very much scandalized that Lizzie should teach the children of the neighbourhood. Seems to think it entirely beneath her dignity. What would old Mars say to see her a settin’ up all day, and havin’ dese here little poor white children, an she a larnin dem, an havin dem here runnin ove his flowers. Ah! I tell you that Miss Lizzie he’d never stand dat. L went into the kitchen one day and found the stove covered with pots and pans, and skillets, she lifted a cover and found the vesel filled with water only, and the next, and the next, every filled with water and nothing else! She said “Mammy what in the world are you going to do with so much hot water?” She sat for a long time looking very grim, but never answering a word, and after several repetitions of the question, she said in the maddest, gruffest, “Den dar children kees a runnin in here, and you think I’m guine to let em think I got no dinner cokin, an nothin to eat, and den run home and tell it, No I aint aguine to do such a thing.” And up she got and Out of the door she went, no doubt to hide a flood of tears. She feels all this a great degradation, and thinks it is her province to keep up the honour and dignity of the family. She has a vast deal of family pride.

That's what happened to the folks who forget how to do for themselves.